He Said, She Said: Keys to Effective Communication

Posted on March 5, 2008
Filed Under Business, Communications |

After twenty-seven years of marriage, twenty years of ministry and three years as a public school teacher, I have learned one very valuable lesson. (Hopefully, I have learned more than one, but this is the one I want to address right here.) Here it is: What you SAID is not always what they HEARD. Or, what you meant by what you said is often not how they took it.

Today, I ran across a remarkable account of an actual 9-1-1 emergency call, which illustrates my point perfectly. This is how it went:

Dispatcher: “Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”
Caller: “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!”
Dispatcher: “Is this her first child?”
Caller: “No, you idiot! This is her husband!”

We often hear it said, “Communication is key.”

To this I say, “Yes! And miscommunication is inevitable.”

Spend enough time in conversation and you will find yourself misquoted, misunderstood, or misrepresented. It happens. You will also hear things from others that you probably didn’t really hear, or they didn’t really mean. So, here is today’s three-part challenge:

1. When you are talking, check for understanding. Make certain that what you
say is what is heard. Ask for feedback. Don’t just testify. Clarify.
Qualify.

2. When you are listening, LISTEN. Make sure you hear what they are saying
and that you understand what they mean by what they say.

3. When given the choice between talking and listening, choose to listen.
You learn more that way. You are less likely to be misunderstood. And when
you do talk, you have a better idea of what needs to be said, and what is
better left unsaid.

Spend enough time in conversation and you will find yourself misquoted, misunderstood, or misrepresented.

Careful communication is key to any healthy relationship. Careless communication may be the death of a cherished relationship. It really is THAT important. It doesn’t just apply to marriage and friendships, either. It applies to every endeavor of life and every vital relationship. If you have an online business or online presence for your business, you want to be sure that what you are saying is what your customers, partners, and site visitors are hearing.

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